#bpdchat Transcript
Healthcare social media transcript of the #bpdchat hashtag.
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See #bpdchat Influencers/Analytics.
| Profile | Tweet |
|---|---|
 | Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr "A Family Guide to BPD" videos give people w/ BPD & their families a chance to speak about their experiences & to share hope. @bpdvideo #BPDChat #SPSM https://t.co/3zliK0hTqR |
 | jobu tupak¡ @helovampirehoe RT @CarlDunnJr: In 45 minutes! #BPDChat! Topic: Taking Care of Yourself by Saying No: In 45 minutes! #BPDChat! Topic: Taking Care of Yourself by Saying No: Observing & Communicating Your Limits (& Allowing Others to Observe Theirs) - 9pm GMT (UK), 4pm EST (US) #SPSM - 'You Are Not Alone |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr Before #BPDChat : I want to credit Shari Manning with much of what I'll mention on today's chat about "Observing Limits" (her book "Loving Someone with BPD" is kind & wise - I think maybe people with BPD would find a lot that is useful. #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr Oops! I'm starting just a little late. Here we go.... #BPDChat |
 | Lady Angrr 🔥 @LadyAngrr @CarlDunnJr Hello, friends in BPD! Glad you've all made it. It's been a hell of a week, and it's because I always *think* that I can say no, but never can when people ask me to help. I, both, want to prove to myself that I can do it and please others at the same time. I'm burnt out! #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr Hello and welcome to #BPDChat - if you feel affected by tonight's chat please contact your country's helpline at https://t.co/GtlNdoZpFo |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr If you're going to post something that may affect others please consider using TW (for Trigger warning) to give others a heads up. #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr RT @LadyAngrr: @CarlDunnJr Hello, friends in BPD! Glad you've all made it. It's been a hell of a week, and it's because I always *think* that I can say no, but never can when people ask me to help. I, both, want to prove to myself that I can do it and please others at the same time. I'm burnt out! #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr Icebreaker: What do you get out of #BPDChat (if anything) each week? What would help you during the week after each #BPDChat to consolidate, practice, and internalize what you learned? (if anything...) #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr RT @CROWRDREAM: @CarlDunnJr @HoppyPelican Oh this is a great idea! Count me in. After having been activated/trigger it helps to find things online to not feel so awful afterwards. It can be very isolating. #bpd #bpdchat #mmhm2019 #maymentalhealthmonth |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr @CROWRDREAM @HoppyPelican Hi. Hope you'll be here for the chat on this subject (starting now), or can see the tweets later. #BPDChat |
| Lady Angrr 🔥 @LadyAngrr @CarlDunnJr I love the supportive community on #BPDChat. Sharing my own experiences and hearing about others' helps me to feel a sense of solidarity, acknowledging that I'm not alone. I hope that I do the same for others. Thanks to @CarlDunnJr for facilitating and to everyone for sharing 🌈 |
 | ♡ Amanda ♡ @Glass1ncision A sense of community. I try to internalize the things I do take out of chat and I think there is something every chat that grabs me. But the community is absolutely why I come to each chat. #Bpdchat |
 | Héctor Manuel Ramírez 🏳️🌈 @CROWRDREAM @CarlDunnJr @HoppyPelican Yeah! And thanks for the #TW #BPDChat |
 | bpdvideo @bpdvideo RT @CarlDunnJr: "A Family Guide to BPD" videos give people w/ BPD & their families a chance to speak about their experiences & to share hope. @bpdvideo #BPDChat #SPSM https://t.co/3zliK0hTqR |
| Héctor Manuel Ramírez 🏳️🌈 @CROWRDREAM @CarlDunnJr A: Honestly I have to be thankful for the community. Dealing w/ ups and down can feel very issolating. Even more with #BPD so finding these chats during the week has been helpful. If there was a med for #PBD I wish it would feel like this. #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr RT @CROWRDREAM: @CarlDunnJr A: @CarlDunnJr A: Honestly I have to be thankful for the community. Dealing w/ ups and down can feel very issolating. Even more with #BPD so finding these chats during the week has been helpful. If there was a med for #PBD I wish it would feel like this. #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr @CROWRDREAM Hi! Welcome to the chat. #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr @Borderline_OK Hi! It's been great having you as a regular on the chat, whether you chat or would rather follow along. #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr RT @LadyAngrr: @CarlDunnJr I love the supportive community on #BPDChat. Sharing my own experiences and hearing about others' helps me to feel a sense of solidarity, acknowledging that I'm not alone. I hope that I do the same for others. Thanks to @CarlDunnJr for facilitating and to everyone for sharing 🌈 |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr RT @Glass1ncision: A sense of community. I try to internalize the things I do take out of chat and I think there is something every chat that grabs me. But the community is absolutely why I come to each chat. #Bpdchat |
| ♡ Amanda ♡ @Glass1ncision I've always had a difficult time setting boundaries and saying no, it's both a part of BPD and a larger part of being a recovering addict. However, I'm starting to say no and I'm feeling good about the changes I'm making, though it's difficult to stand my ground after. #bpdchat |
 | Meandmymhmatters BA (Hons) @Meandmymhmatter @CarlDunnJr Hey. It helps to know I'm not the only one who experiences what I do. It would be useful if there was a blog or something to refer back to but know that is a lot of work #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr RT @Meandmymhmatter: @CarlDunnJr Hey. It helps to know I'm not the only one who experiences what I do. It would be useful if there was a blog or something to refer back to but know that is a lot of work #BPDChat |
 | Kiara 🍶 @colombia_kc RT @CROWRDREAM: @CarlDunnJr A: @CarlDunnJr A: Honestly I have to be thankful for the community. Dealing w/ ups and down can feel very issolating. Even more with #BPD so finding these chats during the week has been helpful. If there was a med for #PBD I wish it would feel like this. #BPDChat |
| ♡ Amanda ♡ @Glass1ncision I can go weeks standing my ground and saying no and then it feels like seemingly I forget why I said no in the first place. Go back. Get hurt. It's a cycle of forgetting then coming to remember in a way I get hurt. But I hope one day I'll be able to say no. #bpdchat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr @livingeupd Hi! Welcome. Thanks for sharing that. #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr RT @mira113: |
| Lady Angrr 🔥 @LadyAngrr @Borderline_OK It's interesting because, sometimes, the info can be helpful, but sometimes, it can be too much. I feel emotions strongly, so when someone talks about something that I relate to, I can go to a dark place and withdraw. I'm trying to strengthen my emotional shield. #BPDChat |
| Héctor Manuel Ramírez 🏳️🌈 @CROWRDREAM @Borderline_OK @CarlDunnJr Its just shocking to see how #BPD is such a stigmatized condition in the mental health & disabilities community! The lack of education and outreach around this is something I want/need to change. #BPDChat #MayMentalHealthMonth |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr @mira113 This is a fascinating idea. I'll think about this. Let me know (anyone else can chime in, too, of course) about what type of task would be helpful. #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr RT @Glass1ncision: I've always had a difficult time setting boundaries and saying no, it's both a part of BPD and a larger part of being a recovering addict. However, I'm starting to say no and I'm feeling good about the changes I'm making, though it's difficult to stand my ground after. #bpdchat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr @Meandmymhmatter Hi! Thanks that's a great suggestion. #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr RT @LadyAngrr: @Borderline_OK It's interesting because, sometimes, the info can be helpful, but sometimes, it can be too much. I feel emotions strongly, so when someone talks about something that I relate to, I can go to a dark place and withdraw. I'm trying to strengthen my emotional shield. #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr @LadyAngrr @Borderline_OK I hear you. This makes a lot of sense. I'm glad you're here. #BPDChat |
| Héctor Manuel Ramírez 🏳️🌈 @CROWRDREAM @Glass1ncision @CarlDunnJr For many folks w/ #PBD bc we are coming from a place of trauma and it can be very hard at times to tell the difference between politeness & friendliness. I want so bad to be an extrovert but I am a survivalist introvert bc of this. #BPDChat |
| Lady Angrr 🔥 @LadyAngrr About saying "No" and setting boundaries: There is a difference between being selfish & self-interested. Selfish is when you climb on top of others to get to where you need to go; self-interested is politely asking others to give you a boost so that you can get there. #BPDChat |
| bpdvideo @bpdvideo #bpdchat @caarldunnjr Estimates for the percentage of the US population that has BPD, or had it at one time in their life, run from 2% to 6%or or between 7 & 21 million. That's a lot of people power. Outlets like #BPDchat can accomplish a great deal of good. |
| ♡ Amanda ♡ @Glass1ncision Saying no is easy. Putting forth the effort behind continuing to say no is the difficult part. #bpdchat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr RT @mira113: |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr @mira113 I'll try to do this this week. Also, anyone else on the chat can post their suggestions for what people might do to #BPDChat, too. |
| Lady Angrr 🔥 @LadyAngrr @CarlDunnJr @Borderline_OK Thanks, Carl😎 I had to take a few days off of social media because it became too difficult to say "No", not to others, but to myself. "No, you don't have to help everyone," "No, you don't have to reply to that comment," "No, you don't have to be ever-present". Always ❤️ #BPDChat |
| bpdvideo @bpdvideo Supporting one another is one very powerful aspect. Educating ourselves and others is another. We should all feel good about participating in this amazing community and helping to shine light on this long misuderstood and stigmatized condition #bpdchat @CarlDunnJr |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr @MoonChildClaire Hi! I'm glad you're here. It's good to here it's helpful. I do realize this can feel overwhelming at times for people. I hope everyone remembers to take care of themselves during & after chat. #BPDChat |
| Lady Angrr 🔥 @LadyAngrr RT @bpdvideo: Supporting one another is one very powerful aspect. Educating ourselves and others is another. We should all feel good about participating in this amazing community and helping to shine light on this long misuderstood and stigmatized condition #bpdchat @CarlDunnJr |
| Héctor Manuel Ramírez 🏳️🌈 @CROWRDREAM @CarlDunnJr @mira113 I have added the #BPDChat to my daily survival/coping tools. I have been primarily been looking at them after I have had an episode/activation. But adding some daily coping tools/comments seems practical. I can imagine we all have similar & different ones. |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr @LadyAngrr @Borderline_OK Sometimes stepping back for a little while makes sense. Remember to take care of yourself first. #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr RT @bpdvideo: Supporting one another is one very powerful aspect. Educating ourselves and others is another. We should all feel good about participating in this amazing community and helping to shine light on this long misuderstood and stigmatized condition #bpdchat @CarlDunnJr |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr RT @CROWRDREAM: @CarlDunnJr @mira113 I have added the #BPDChat to my daily survival/coping tools. I have been primarily been looking at them after I have had an episode/activation. But adding some daily coping tools/comments seems practical. I can imagine we all have similar & different ones. |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr RT @LadyAngrr: About saying "No" and setting boundaries: About saying "No" and setting boundaries: There is a difference between being selfish & self-interested. Selfish is when you climb on top of others to get to where you need to go; self-interested is politely asking others to give you a boost so that you can get there. #BPDChat |
| Héctor Manuel Ramírez 🏳️🌈 @CROWRDREAM @CarlDunnJr @LadyAngrr @Borderline_OK This can be cary bc it feels like I am running away, quitting, or giving up. Its good how your wording challenges my perceived ideas to something that feels safer to me. Step back as a form of self care. #BPDChat |
| bpdvideo @bpdvideo @Meandmymhmatter @CarlDunnJr @CarlDunnJr - is #BPDchat still archived in Wakely? If so, its a valuable and supportive resource |
| Lady Angrr 🔥 @LadyAngrr @CarlDunnJr @Borderline_OK That's the challenge. When I say "I'm going to take a break" I feel inferior & like I'm letting myself down. I was always told that I didn't "apply myself", which is a result of my #ADHD, and, b/c of that, I feel like I developed #BPD and a "never-good-enough" self-view. #BPDChat |
| Héctor Manuel Ramírez 🏳️🌈 @CROWRDREAM RT @LadyAngrr: @CarlDunnJr @Borderline_OK That's the challenge. When I say "I'm going to take a break" I feel inferior & like I'm letting myself down. I was always told that I didn't "apply myself", which is a result of my #ADHD, and, b/c of that, I feel like I developed #BPD and a "never-good-enough" self-view. #BPDChat |
| Lady Angrr 🔥 @LadyAngrr @CROWRDREAM @CarlDunnJr @Borderline_OK Giving up is exactly it. It is like we're rejecting and abandoning ourselves. We only have ourselves to rely upon, and now we can't even have that because our own minds have joined the masses who reject us. Days like that are tough... #BPDChat |
 | shelly🧚♀️🌈🇺🇸 @CammoChick RT @CarlDunnJr: Before #BPDChat : If you're in the U.S., put this number in your phone: Natl. Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Before #BPDChat : If you're in the U.S., put this number in your phone: Natl. Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr I behind in the chat and would like to reply and reply more to what's already been said, but now it's time for the main topic. #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr Tonight's topic is.... Taking Care of Yourself by Saying No: Observing & Communicating Your Limits (& Allowing Others to Observe Theirs) #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr We all have personal limits which we don't want other people to cross. It's up to us to recognize & communicate our limits. #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr Have you had the experience of other people asking for you to do too much? Do you know what to do? (If so, what?). Do you find these situations challenging? #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr RT @mira113: |
 | Danny @fizzinships RT @BpdGroup: #youhavetomakeurownluck #bpd #MENTALHEALTH #bpddating #EndTheStigma #bpdchat https://t.co/ZtcyVtudrJ |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr @mira113 @CROWRDREAM Yes! This is very smart. I agree it's much easier to practice & learn things when you're not emotionally escalated or in a difficult situation. #BPDChat |
| Lady Angrr 🔥 @LadyAngrr @CROWRDREAM @Glass1ncision @CarlDunnJr I was an extrovert out of necessity. I needed to distract myself from the feelings of self-loathing and loneliness, so I surrounded myself with parties, people and popularity. I wasn't happy, just distracted. #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr @bpd_anonymous Hi! I'm glad it feels that way. #BPDChat |
| Héctor Manuel Ramírez 🏳️🌈 @CROWRDREAM @CarlDunnJr Oh yes, saying & owning my "no". As a person who gravitates to a caretaker role its been hard practicing self care by saying no. I learned about the DEAR MAN and had mixed results but it made me reevaluate my process. #DBT #BPDChat |
 | BPD BORI 🇵🇷🌊 she/her/ella @enlaorilla_ RT @bpdvideo: #bpdchat @caarldunnjr Estimates for the percentage of the US population that has BPD, or had it at one time in their life, run from 2% to 6%or or between 7 & 21 million. That's a lot of people power. Outlets like #BPDchat can accomplish a great deal of good. |
 | FindHelp FindHope @FindHelpHope RT @CarlDunnJr: Tonight's topic is.... Taking Care of Yourself by Saying No: Tonight's topic is.... Taking Care of Yourself by Saying No: Observing & Communicating Your Limits (& Allowing Others to Observe Theirs) #BPDChat |
| BPD BORI 🇵🇷🌊 she/her/ella @enlaorilla_ RT @CarlDunnJr: We all have personal limits which we don't want other people to cross. It's up to us to recognize & communicate our limits. #BPDChat |
| Meandmymhmatters BA (Hons) @Meandmymhmatter @CarlDunnJr I feel I have to say yes to people or I will lose them. Also my family dynamic makes it hard to say no to certain people for fear of the repercussions. #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr Does a friend call you too much? Is someone else demanding you do something that you don't feel you should do? Do you have problems when that happens? #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr RT @Meandmymhmatter: @CarlDunnJr I feel I have to say yes to people or I will lose them. Also my family dynamic makes it hard to say no to certain people for fear of the repercussions. #BPDChat |
| Lady Angrr 🔥 @LadyAngrr @bpdvideo @CarlDunnJr @Borderline_OK Ugh...it always made me feel useless. My father was very demanding, esp. academically. They didn't understand #ADHD back then. I write about it (below) and make the connection b/w ADHD & the formation of my #BPD. #BPDChat https://t.co/8OzhoUOrca |
| Héctor Manuel Ramírez 🏳️🌈 @CROWRDREAM @Meandmymhmatter @CarlDunnJr but then there could be resentment and rumination UGH why didnt I say no! #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr Limits are somewhat like boundaries, but they're more flexible, you can adjust them if circumstances warrant. #BPDChat |
| Héctor Manuel Ramírez 🏳️🌈 @CROWRDREAM @CarlDunnJr Oh yes. Sometimes the smallest request seemed so demanding. I would avoid them or totally isolate bc I did not feel I could tackle things. #BPDChat |
| Héctor Manuel Ramírez 🏳️🌈 @CROWRDREAM @MissLexisaurus the last thing I want people to think of me is that I am selfish! #BPDChat |
| Lady Angrr 🔥 @LadyAngrr @CarlDunnJr What's interesting is that, if another person says no to us, we can often accept it and move along, but we are fearful to state our own boundaries b/c of the immense fear of rejection. I'll often flip tha script and say "If xyz said this to me, how would I react?" #BPDChat |
 | 🏳️🌈Héctor M. Ramírez🏳️🌈 @ACHEMERE RT @LadyAngrr: @CarlDunnJr @Borderline_OK That's the challenge. When I say "I'm going to take a break" I feel inferior & like I'm letting myself down. I was always told that I didn't "apply myself", which is a result of my #ADHD, and, b/c of that, I feel like I developed #BPD and a "never-good-enough" self-view. #BPDChat |
 | EmotionQuotien @emotionquotien RT @LadyAngrr: @CarlDunnJr @Borderline_OK That's the challenge. When I say "I'm going to take a break" I feel inferior & like I'm letting myself down. I was always told that I didn't "apply myself", which is a result of my #ADHD, and, b/c of that, I feel like I developed #BPD and a "never-good-enough" self-view. #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr Limits seem to be an internal thing (to yourself). When someone asks you to do something & it's "too much" you probably experience an internal sense of your limits being crossed. #BPDChat |
| Lady Angrr 🔥 @LadyAngrr @Meandmymhmatter @CarlDunnJr I could never say no to my father. If I said no, I was in for a huge argument and looooong lecture. I believe he also has BPD. He took my no as rejection and that caused his defensiveness. He's changed for the better now, but it was hell and I prob learned the behaviour. #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr Observing your limit(s) is noticing when what you've been asked to do is "too much" and then identifying this as a "limit". Example: "I don't want to drive across town to give Jake a ride to the store." #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr So the first part of saying 'No' is noticing or identifying or observing what your limit is. #BPDChat |
| Lady Angrr 🔥 @LadyAngrr @CarlDunnJr I was the friend that calls too much. Until recently, I had a really hard time understanding boundaries. I had lots of people cut me off because they couldn't understand my "neediness" but I didn't get it either. #BPDChat |
| Meandmymhmatters BA (Hons) @Meandmymhmatter @CROWRDREAM @CarlDunnJr Oh there definitely is, I don't deny it. But I also find the fear overwhelming. #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr Observing your limit has to do with your awareness: You might notice your feelings, thoughts, physical sensations, etc. when someone asks you for something - what do they tell you? #BPDChat |
| Héctor Manuel Ramírez 🏳️🌈 @CROWRDREAM @CarlDunnJr I had not thought about looking at limits & boundaries as distinct concepts. That definitely helps to make adjustments. #BPDChat |
| Lady Angrr 🔥 @LadyAngrr @Glass1ncision I told my parents "no" and stopped talking to them for a long time. We eventually reconnected with positive, firm boundaries. It was so hard and we all missed each other, but it was the best thing I've ever done in my entire life. Relationship improved by 1000% 🤪 #BPDChat |
 | Blaise Aguirre, MD @blaisemd Thanks! Please join me tonight! https://t.co/2YhmD6txaQ |
| Lady Angrr 🔥 @LadyAngrr @CarlDunnJr I've had to "mute" a few people on twitter because of the things that they post. It's too much. It bothers me to have to do it, but it's self-preservation. I wish I could be there for everyone, but I need to be there for myself, first. #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr @LadyAngrr It's interesting you noticed that. Part of this interaction with others is also noticing their limits (what they don't want to do, for instance) and then considering whether you're asking too much - if the other person's limit is reasonable, what else could you do? #BPDChat |
| FindHelp FindHope @FindHelpHope RT @CarlDunnJr: Before #BPDChat : A favorite book: Before #BPDChat : A favorite book: 'Mindfulness for BPD' by Blaise Aguirre @blaisemd & Gillian Galen @gillianpsyd https://t.co/nqBtOmZIyI |
 | n i a / h e p h @NiA6035 @CarlDunnJr I find it particularly challenging with just my mother. She's a big trigger for me. I've had to put space between us and even move clear across town so she would understand the space I needed. It used to be if I couldn't do everything to help her I was useless. #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr @CROWRDREAM Yes, someone who taught about limits once told me boundaries are usually inflexible fences (walls?) while limits are more like those electronic dog fences - they can be changed depending on the situation. #BPDChat |
| Héctor Manuel Ramírez 🏳️🌈 @CROWRDREAM RT @CarlDunnJr: @CROWRDREAM Yes, someone who taught about limits once told me boundaries are usually inflexible fences (walls?) while limits are more like those electronic dog fences - they can be changed depending on the situation. #BPDChat |
| Lady Angrr 🔥 @LadyAngrr @CarlDunnJr I actually had them say that they had to stop talking to me b/c it was too much. Even my mother said "I wish you wouldn't call me so much" (she's since apologized for that). I was un-diagnosed, so they just thought I was a grouchy complainer. Interesting how it changed. #BPDChat |
| n i a / h e p h @NiA6035 @CarlDunnJr An ex boyfriend told me I was too much. Pretty sure I was verbally abused by him (he is bipolar) but he would get mad and say I was too much for him, I brought him down, held him back, etc. I struggle with those scars in my current relationship. #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr Once you've observed that you have a limit, it's then good to decide how important this limit is. You might "give in" on a trivial limit, for instance, but decide to observe & communicate more important limits to other people. #BPDChat |
| Lady Angrr 🔥 @LadyAngrr @CarlDunnJr It made me mad and I felt rejected because I was sad and knew I would have been there for them, but they didn't get it. Now, those same people who set their limits are calling me to talk/complain, but I listen...and set my own boundaries. #BPDChat |
| Lady Angrr 🔥 @LadyAngrr @mira113 @CarlDunnJr My first time blocking someone on twitter was really tough. Someone was pretty jerky, and it had to be done. I get sad when I'm blocked for a trivial or ignorant reason. Someone blocked me for politely talking about mental health. That really made me angry #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr Yes, the other person may not be happy when you communicate your limit to them. It's important to remember that 'validation' can deescalate emotions. It's a good idea to validate the other's emotions or experience before you communicate your limit to them. #BPDChat 2/2 |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr What do you do once you observe that you have a limit (you label it as a limit & you decide it's an important limit to you)? Well, you have to communicate your limit to the other person. #BPDChat 1/2 |
| Héctor Manuel Ramírez 🏳️🌈 @CROWRDREAM @CarlDunnJr uhm... this is where knowing our values might be helpful. Why something is more important than something else. Self care (me) has become a top value. So saying no is becoming more important. #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr Check this out! This link has a brief summary of "observing limits" from Shari Manning's book. #BPDChat https://t.co/V4UtCdxBXd |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr Short summary of steps to "observing a limit" (from Shari Manning's book). #BPDChat 1/7 |
 | 🏴☠️G-Anne🏴☠️ @gacossey @mira113 @CarlDunnJr (Sorry-chiming in late)And even tho we all know we can do a small thing, seems like it would be comforting? knowing all u other bpdchatters are trying to do the exact same as me :)) #bpdchat |
| Lady Angrr 🔥 @LadyAngrr @lailar_rc @CarlDunnJr Great question! I think, firstly, that I saw the symptoms of the diagnosis and began to be more aware & self-regulating, but, when I have had my "moments" my mother, for example, is more attentive and open to listening b/c she understands the attributes of BPD & ADHD. #BPDChat |
| FindHelp FindHope @FindHelpHope RT @CarlDunnJr: Check this out! This link has a brief summary of "observing limits" from Shari Manning's book. #BPDChat https://t.co/V4UtCdxBXd |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr Here's a short summary of steps to "observing a limit" (from Shari Manning's book). #BPDChat 1/7 |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr 1) Make sure you know your limits (Identify your limits, notice when they are crossed...). If your limit is crossed, is it important enough to communicate to the other person? #BPDChat 2/7 |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr 2) If limit is important, pick a good time when the other person isn't upset. Then, Describe the situation. (This is 'D' - "Describe situation" in DBT "DEAR MAN"). #BPDChat 3/7 |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr 3) Express your feelings while validating & soothing the other person. (This is 'E' - "Express your emotions in DBT "DEAR MAN"). #BPDChat 4/7 |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr 6) If appropriate, suggest or problem-solves ways the other person can abide by your limit. #BPDChat 7/7 |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr 4) State the limit. Tell the other person what you want - you want something to stop or be different? (This is 'A' - "Assert your wishes in DBT "DEAR MAN"). #BPDChat 5/7 |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr 5) Anticipate an emotional increase and move in to soothe and validate. (This is 'R' - "Reinforce the contingency" in DBT "DEAR MAN") - State the benefit for the other person. #BPDChat 6/7 |
| 🏴☠️G-Anne🏴☠️ @gacossey #bpdchat Hi everyone, sorry I’m late! Returned Monday from an awesome 10day vacay in 80+ heat..was 32 & snow this morning! Hope everyone is well |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr Communicating your limit is better than letting your resentment build up until you blow up at the other person. #BPDChat |
| Lady Angrr 🔥 @LadyAngrr @sam_thomas86 @CarlDunnJr So there with you, Sam. It's the passion and the effort that satiates us along with our need for acceptance. When we feel that we're doing a good job, we can go to bed happy at nights...for the most part. But having others' approval is what we are always seeking. #BPDChat |
| Lady Angrr 🔥 @LadyAngrr @mira113 @CarlDunnJr That's what I have to keep telling myself, or else I spiral down the rabbit hole, asking myself "What did I say? What did I do? What's wrong with me?" But lately, I've said, "Well, something might be wrong with them." #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr The 7-tweet summary I just tweeted includes the 'DEAR' from the 'DEAR MAN' acronym from DBT skills. 'DEAR MAN' is a good way to tell someone else what you want - in this case, it's a great way to communicate a limit. #BPDChat - See the following: https://t.co/J3BKCMGHDN |
| Lady Angrr 🔥 @LadyAngrr @lailar_rc @CarlDunnJr Yes, both I'd say. I do declare my BPD and ADHD often, and find that people become more careful. I kind of like it because I've spent my life having to defend myself constantly because of my high-functioning and ability to hide what's going on. It's nice to relax a bit 😉#BPDChat |
| FindHelp FindHope @FindHelpHope RT @CarlDunnJr: The 7-tweet summary I just tweeted includes the 'DEAR' from the 'DEAR MAN' acronym from DBT skills. 'DEAR MAN' is a good way to tell someone else what you want - in this case, it's a great way to communicate a limit. #BPDChat - See the following: https://t.co/J3BKCMGHDN |
 | Voice Has No Color @voicehasnocolor RT @CarlDunnJr: The 7-tweet summary I just tweeted includes the 'DEAR' from the 'DEAR MAN' acronym from DBT skills. 'DEAR MAN' is a good way to tell someone else what you want - in this case, it's a great way to communicate a limit. #BPDChat - See the following: https://t.co/J3BKCMGHDN |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr Validation: "I know you really want me to clean your apartment." Limit: I'm not going to clean your apartment." #BPDChat 5/5 |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr Is this limit important to you? Then you need to think how to communicate that limit to the other person. #BPDChat 1/5 |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr You can validate the other person first to help get their emotions down before you communicate your limit. #BPDChat 2/5 |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr Validation: "I know you're really worried about money & you want me to lend you some." Limit: "I choose not to loan you money." #BPDChat 4/5 |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr Validation: "I know when you're lonely you feel like calling me." Limit: "I can't take your calls at night." #BPDChat 3/5 |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr RT @CROWRDREAM: @CarlDunnJr uhm... this is where knowing our values might be helpful. Why something is more important than something else. Self care (me) has become a top value. So saying no is becoming more important. #BPDChat |
| Lady Angrr 🔥 @LadyAngrr @CarlDunnJr Thanks to everyone for participating and sharing in today's chat! I didn't say "NO" to a friend who just called to invite me over earlier than we'd planned (because she's lonely), so I'm leaving now, but hope to see you all next week! 🌈 #BPDChat |
| Carl Dunn @CarlDunnJr @CROWRDREAM Yes! I agree. Knowing your values is a big help in determining which limits are most important for you. (Knowing your values also takes practice and time). #BPDChat |
#bpdchat content from Twitter.